What can I say? I am inconsistent. You should see my personal journal. Every entry starts with "It's been a while since I last wrote...."
I have posted some things on facebook that were probably more blog-worthy. I have not been silent.

So, why start now? A colleague said "You should totally write a blog." So, I have been thinking on that. I am not sure how to proceed. Should I write stuff here? Make an anonymous blog? The problem is that I have so many topics to cover. This blog is personal and more meant for friends and family and not public consumption. Who cares about my band experiences, right?

But this one exists, so here it is.

Recap: 2012 sucked. That's just the truth of it. In June of 2012 my street was on the national news. Exciting, right? There was a big fire. It burned my neighborhood. Neighbors had houses burnt to the foundation. Nothing left but ashes and twisted steel. We were evacuated for 8 days. For at least 2 of those, we didn't know if we would have a house to return to. We came back to a war zone.

I have typical male attitudes. I was in control. I was dad. I took care of business.

But it affected me deeply. Way more than I realized. I lost a lot of of that secure feeling. My brain had a lot of new possibilities to process. I dreamed of disasters. I didn't know how my family was doing that day. I didn't know how they would be doing in the future. How was my youngest going to feel about going to school when one of her best friends didn't have a house in the district anymore? What happens if the next time I am at work when the evacuation notice comes out.

It took its toll. My productivity at work went down. 2 months later I was fired. Are those 2 facts that directly related, no. But they are related.

Getting fired was hard to take. Not getting a new job quickly was harder. I fell into true depression. Depression is a funny thing in that it is hard to know you are there, it is absurd to have others tell you that you are there, and you have no desire to fix it.

I read a good blog post describing it. Hyperboleandahalf-depression part two (Warning! Contains adult language)

Her words help describe the process and the reality. I was not that bad, but I was there. It's that "nothing". It was hard to be happy about anything. Nothing interested me.

In November I was offered a job. A good job.

Begin: 2013
It's been a rough start. I was in a hole that you can't just pop out of. There are biological things going on. Also, I had some health issues. The pain meds sent me back down into the pit. However, with those I could see the cause. By that time, I knew what was going on.

Step 1 - Get a job -- Check
Step 2 - Switch meds -- Check
Step 3 - Get healthy -- .... let me get back to you on that.... :)

Actually working on that last one and it helps a lot.

So, here I am. Coming out of it. I have things I look forward to now. 2013 has a lot of promise. Just saying that is a good thing.